Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter? Are you scared of flying?" Jack asked.
"No, I don't mind flying. It's just that I've been transferred to a new job in Newark! There's crazy people there! They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Newark all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Here's what you do; Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But you've calmed me down. After all, if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
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