An irate subscriber stormed into a newspaper office waving the current edition, asking to see "whoever wrote the obituary column".
When referred to a young reporter, he stormed, "You can see I'm very much alive, and you've put me in the obituary column! I demand a retraction!"
Replied the reporter, "I never retract a story. But I tell you what I'll do. I'll put you in the birth column and give you a fresh start."
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